NO MORE RHYMES or trendy sayings

NO MORE RHYMES or trendy sayings

Really, please oh please.  One door closes and another opens.  The mouse in the house ate its spouse… well, that one would be fun at least, not quit a beast.  But a metal feast!

MAKE it go away!  Please I say, the rhymes that leave us adults sounding like freaks on treats.  No, that didn’t rhyme, FOR A REASON.

I love to work with my kids, don’t get me wrong.  But to feel like I’m always singing a dam song!  It’s got to go, I NEED to sound like an adult at some point.  This switch is a bitch!

So here I am, trying to speak to a non-birth-giving woman.  She has no experience with children, doesn’t hate them.  Just not something she has in her life.  I’m totally lost.  What the hell can I talk about with her?  I make a point NOT to rhyme, how sad is that?

I mean, I can talk about art… but not everyone or most anyone is into my style.  Egads, I mean even dropping my eldest offspring off at cub scouts I’m thinking of skinning critters.  He runs up to me and states “do you know why all those boys are standing over there???”  I’m like “why?” He states that “they are looking at a dead rabbit”.  ME, I’m going through a list of things to bring to pick it up and skin that critter.  THIS IS NOT normal conversation.

“Hi ladies!!! How was your morning?  I had a wonderful cup of coffee with the spouse then ran out and gathered some dead things to practice skinning and such.  It was fantastically fun to remove the organs and make wet specimens of them!!  Have you ever removed an eyeball?  OMG, talk about a mess if you don’t do it right…. And don’t get me started on intestines!”  Yep, not the average conversation.  I mean, I grew up doing this.  Took a good couple of decades break from it, but now it’s back.  It’s like riding a bike, once you get back on it’s a need.  Yes, maybe you forgot when to change the gears, but not how to.

So, here I am.  Trying to function in normal conversation.  No rhyming, no random songs on how to do mundane task.  Just talking about what is status quo.  Honestly, it’s horribly boring.  I mean, the weather is important.  Especially here in the desert.  You’ve got to know when it’s going to reach over a 105F.  Trust me, it’s not good to go out dressed in jeans and a heavy dark shirt in the blistering sun.  You cover up, but NOT in a long sleeve dark shirt.  That shit has got to be airy!

Luckily for me, I’m not hated for being myself.  I blend in well.  Purposely buying cute pink shirts and trendy jeans.  It really does make a difference.  I blend in, but maintain being who I am without too much pain.  I’ve got too.  One of the most important lessons I can teach my kids is to be myself.  That doesn’t mean to make everyone else uncomfortable around me.  But to be myself and function in a normal environment.  Not always easy, but I manage.



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